Goals of Your Life
When you set your goals for life, dont just write i want to be a millionaire, with 10 houses and 25 kids by the age of 25. Stop objectifying your goals in life, because when you do you will only be happy and enjoy life when you get these things in life. Instead look for a higher order, a higher calling, a meaning behind all these objects that you want in your life. Perhaps it is to enrich the lives of others by what you do, or to make a difference, or help change the world. And when you understand and appreciate the compelling reason, rational or drive behind the things you want in life, you realise that you can actually already achieve them today. the present moment. And as we enjoy each moment of our lives, the tangible things of life would surely come on our way.
Calvins Take on Life!
You gotta give life your best shot cos hey you only spend it once. So live like youre gonna die tomorrow but dream like youre gonna live forever. And thats why they say life is so ironic!
Wise Words
1. Everything is created twice. Once in the mind. The second time for real.
2. Happiness is a choice not a destination.
3. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
4. Do the math. Count your blessings.
5. When you count your blessings, I count you twice.
6. Growing old is inevitable, Growing up is optional.
7. Life gives you blanks. Fill them.
8. Love is like peanut butter. The more of it you spread, the more likely they get unto your hands.
9. Its not about getting yourself over, it is about getting over yourself.
10. Friendship is the safest ship in a storm.
Integrity
Integrity comes from the word integer. An integer, in mathematics, refers to a number that isnt divided into fractions. And likewise, a man of integrity isnt divided against himself. What he does does not contradict what he says and thinks, the values he believes in and upholds. He doesnt say one thing and think another-he’s not in conflict with his own principles.-Arthur Goodman
Shortcut to Success
Let me tell you guys a surefire way, a shortcut to success? Yes some people say success is not an escalator not a lift but a staircase. But heres a method that would have you jumping up the staircase! The shortcut to success is by putting yourself on the line! By staking your reputation, saying you will do this certain great thing or promising to deliver a certain high standard. And when you do so you know what will happen? You will do whatever it takes to make it happen…cos promises cant be broken and your word is a measure your reliability. You leave other choice but to succeed! So you see my friend, this shortcut really works! Go Test it out!
Do you like surprises?
Do you like surprises? Yes is your answer?BULLSHIT Id say. Then what if i tell you that you failed your exams and have to retake? Aint that a surprise too? Haa…What bout this …Do you like certainty? Yes right? Youd like to go home to a peaceful and secure environment each day…Certainty. And yet we still like surprises. Like what is our next birthday present? What will our loved ones do for us next? When will we get our next bonus? Life in that sense is a paradox. Full of surprises yet we like it with that ground of certainty. When we look at Myanmar and China, in the snap of a finger, we see thousands of lives perished. Imagine that happening to our shores. And it very well could you know. Cos in that way life is unpredictable. All we can do is to give life our best shot at this moment and appreciate what the future brings. At the same time we need to live with an attitude of gratitude… especially to say a big thank you, give a warm hug or show your appreciation in your own special way to those that matters to us, who are here with us today…for those who gives us the positive surprises and unshaken certainties we crave for each day. Remember today to tell those who matter , I appreciate you! and leave your footprints in their hearts by echoing “Who You are Makes a Difference to me!”
2 less days to worry about!!
In our life, there are 2 days we should never worry about. One is a day called yesterday. So what happened yesterday? If its bad life can only get better if its good life hold on to it. What is essential is you need not worry about it cos no matter what you do you cant change your yesterdays. The second day you need not worry about is this day called tommorrow. Yes the sun may or may not come out tommorrow. But thats not for you to worry about. Cos it hasnt happened yet…And hey you can always change your tommorrows….simply by the choices you make today…So live today to the fullest cos past does not equal to future and more importantly what you do today will reflect what happens tommorrow!
Time Flies, but Youre the Pilot!
Often you find that time flies. We always say there is always time to do this, 3 more weeks to exams still got time, 2 more hours before meeting our friend still got time to change lets slack first. And more often than not, we find ourselves discovering that TIME FLIES!!! always not enough time we find in the end. Yes ladies and gentleman time flies like nobodys business. And often we push putting what we can do today tommorrow. But hey theres no tommorow, we got to do it TODAY. Aint TODAY yesterday’s TOMORROW after all? And the good news is while time will fly, WE ARE THE PILOT. We have the control of what we do with our time, to make it useful and meaningful and to make a choice to change our destiny of tommorrow!Today!
What is your focus?
When anything happens in your life, how we make sense of our outside world is through our internal representation. There is no menaing except the meaning we choose to give. So with 60-80 000 thoughts filtering through our conciousness each day how do handle it? Our brains delete, distort and generalise the information it receives. And what we delete, distort and generalize depends on our values, attitudes, the background of our lives, etc. It is actually an automatic process but we can actually control this process by choosing our focus. What are the things that we focus on when we ask the questions in our mind? Is it on the problem or the solution, problem or challenge, positive or negative, good or bad, what ifs or what can be done? Choose your focus right, and you find yourself in a resourceful state of action each and everyday. Make your choice today.
The Pygmalion Effect
Some years ago, George Barnard Shaw wrote a play called Pygmallion, about a professor doing his best to win a bet to teach a poor flower girl to speak Queen’s English. Later it was made into a popular movie which was a hit during my parents’ time. And the pygmallion effect is actually relevant to us in everyday life. Its about our expectancy of things around us. When we label something to be negative it will turn out to be true. When we see it having a potential to always be positive it will also indeed come true. This is what we called self-fulfilling prophecy. Some years back, there was an experiment in which a teacher was given a class that was at risk but was told it was a gifted class. And having expected them to deliver, they amazingly did. And so it is with our expectations for others. We need to stop labeling others as useless, lazy or delinquent. We need to see others or things as positive and empowering. Cos we see the world not as it is but as we are…And when we expect good things to come out from our surroundings it indeed will.That is truly the power of positive expectation!
The mind can take you far, the rest is just your heart
Great things can be done with the human brain, indeed processing 50-80 k of information everyday it is perhaps the greatest computer on earth. And so with the right mindset, analytical thinking skills and that bit of rationale, each and everyone of us can go far in life. But are we satisfied with far? Shall we go that extra distance to be better than good greater than great? What will take us there are not merely our brains, in not merely in our mind, but whats in our hearts. Ever been in love and had that feeling of doing anything spectacular or even ridiculous just for that special someone? Its cos of whats in our hearts that takes us that extra distance from good to great. Say no to the good so you can say yes to the great…start today by asking what your heart truly desires, follow your heart and live your life with passion..Thats the true heartware of the human race
3 Human Software
There are 3 imporatnat software that we all need to become better, to progress. They consist of
Attitude
Skills
Knowledge
So ask and you shall be given!
All Meaning is Context Dependant
There is no meaning except the meaning you give it. Each of us has a different model of the world. There is no such thing as absolute reality, only the reality that we see based on our model of the world. So remember to respect and understand other people’s model of the world. And when confronting negative thoughts and feedback, reframe it by asking empowering questions What else could this mean to me? What should I be thankful for? and you will find yourself in a resourceful state of mind.
Higher than Hills
Quality over quantity. No matter how much weve achieved, or how far weve come we should never be satisfied with the status quo but push our envelopes further and embrace the spirit of continually upgrading ourselves and constantly improving to reach a higher peak. The Japanese call it kaizen, Anthony Robbins calls it the CANI attitude; the matter of whats its called is not important as what it calls upon you to do. Be better than yesterday and unleash your best self. Say no to the good so you can say yes to the best!
Choose your consequences
Life is two simple words:
CHOICES and CONSEQUENCES.
If you don’t like your consequences,
MAKE NEW CHOICES.because there are no such thing as wrong choices, just learning experiences.
Read this over and over until you get it. Understanding the depth of this concept, will change your entire life.
Apply it to everything you say and do for the next week. See the difference it makes when you consciously
choose every single aspect of your life, every moment of every day.
No more excuses or reason for depression,
or anger or fear. Your life, your health, your relationships, your happiness, is YOUR responsibility, YOUR choice.
It is YOURS.
You are NOT responsible for the way other people choose to feel or for how they live or for what they say and what they do.
Taking responsibility for other adults, disempowers them and teaches them to continue their bad behaviour, actions and habits.
Choose your future with care, love, honesty, integrity and passion.
Choose wisely, follow your heart.
Change “I can’t” to “I MUST”.
Life is like a camera
Life is like a camera, that’s why people like to say your life is picture perfect. Because photography is essentially the art of capturing light, with the right amount of light you get a nice picture! And cest la vie, you must be receptive to the light of knowledge and remain teachable to blaze a trail of glory. And the mind is like the aperture of the camera…you need to open your mind to let in just the right amount of ideas to light up you world…And to get a clear picture, you need to make sure that fouces is just right and accurate…Finally, the true thrill of photography lies not in admiring the pictures of acclaim but in selling an idea to the world, searching high and low for the succint landscape to capture, squeezing out that creative juices to find that perfect angle..that where the true satisfaction lies..not merely in the final picture but the thrill of producing it…and so it is with life…what matters most is not always the product but the process…
Change is the only constant
Many of us are afraid to change. We are afraid of the unknown and the discomfort that changes bring. And yet this is only because society, the environment and our beliefs conditions us to feel that way. And yet change can occur in an instant. Most of the time, when we make a change, it only takes a moment for us to change. What takes a long time is the process of discovering that moment to change one’s attitudes. So if we want to we can change in a moment’s notice and decide to take responsibility for our actions. We have to find it within ourselves to find that trigger of change and act immediately. We need to believe that for change to occur, we must say that something must change and not should would or could, we must believe that for things to change you and i (yes only you and i) must change it and you and i have the power to change it. Yes we can do it. You will have to be the source of the change. For the world to change, you must change first. The seasons will come and go, the rain that comes down will pass and the sun will come out once more, for all things do not change but we do.
There can be miracles when we believe
What is a belief ? Above all things it is a feeling of certainty within us that allows us to carry out a certain action. Think of it as a table top. When you look at the table top, it has to be supported by legs, maybe 2 legs 3 legs etc made of wood, made of metal , flimsy, sturdy, solid…Every time we have a belief, we often come out with frames of references (legs of the table) that supports this belief. For example if we come out with the idea that you can talk well, its perhaps because when you talk, people applaud or someone commented that you can talk well…and likewise for limiting beliefs…Limiting beliefs are formed due to the frames of reference we have to support that belief…when someone believes that something is impossible it is perhaps because they haven’t succeeded in the past, and thinking because of that they cant succeed in the future..as a result, they concentrate on the pain of not succeeding and choose to be “realistic”..justifying their limiting beliefs with limiting frames of references….But the important thing is you can form any belief you want…as long as you form enough legs (frames of experience) to prop it up and support it though…And what matters most is the need to form empowering beliefs …that make us draw from our deepest resources and signals to us that we can accomplish anything we want to create that sense of certainty even when we dont have enough frames of references…and we get these frames of references through our own experience, through our experience in the eyes of others and even through our imagination…remember the brain is constructed in such a way that it cant tell the difference between a real experience and a vividly imagined one…so if we cant find enough real frames of references…use your imagination to create your own references when non existed and develop that feeling of certainty within you…lets fake it till we make it..and the deeper emotional intensity we pour into these references, the more convinced our beliefs become…And when we form these empowering beliefs, it gives us a frame of mind that anything is possible, it gives a signal to the rest of our resources that we can accomplish that goal we have in mind…because whatever we think we are always right…if you think you can you can, if you think you cant you cant…optimists are right and so are pessimists…so find the right belief cos it takes a great you to conquer your limiting beliefs…And when we have the right empowering beliefs, we do what it takes just to make that belief a reality…Remember what you think is what you get…
Decision is the ultimate power
You have all the resources you need in order to succeed. However, resources are not important. What is more important is your resourcefulness. Your ability to access these resources and maximise its use in order for you to achieve your desired outcome. And at the heart of being resoursceful is making a decision. Decision is the ultimate power. And the power is yours to make. Make a decision to do something about your goals today. And decisions means moving away from wishing and wanting but doing your best to focus on your goal and doing what it takes to achieve that outcome. Make the pain of not achiveing your goal harder to take than the pleasure of not doing anything about it…When life gets shaky, as they always will, stabilize yourself and FOCUS ON YOUR OUTCOME!
Choices have consequences
Life is about chances and choices. You can let it be governed by chance and ride your luck. Be reactive and see how things goes. Or you could choose to govern your life by the choices you make. You can choose to be proactive, make a decision today to do something about your life, your situation and anything that happens to you instead of letting the environment control you. Whenever you’re sad avoide saying youre sad, instead say you choose to feel sad, which means you have the power and freedom to choose to feel happy. You can choose to feel happy and do something about a problem instead of choosing to feel sad and let the environment and the problem conquer you. So make a choice about your life today before the environment or someone else does.
The Measure of Success
What is success ultimately? We all have lofty dreams and ideals we want to achieve in our lifetime. Some want to have a family of 5 by 35 while others wants to buy that Ferrari Spider. One day if we put it enough effort and the right strategy we will get there. Its not going to happen overnight. So how do we keep ourselves going? We say that everyday is a success to us. Small incremental steps to that big pot of gold behind the rainbow. After all you dont conquer Everest by jumping over the mountain, you take small incremental steps to the peak. And life’s like that. So everyday success is just about being one step closer to your goal than you were yesterday!
The Meaning of your Communication is the Response you Get
The meaning of your communication, no matter what your intention or purpose in the first place, is only contingent on the response you get from your audience. Thus even though you may have a positive intent or you wanted to show the benefits of a particular subject, what’s important is not your purpose but how the recipient party receives it. Always remember that as humans we process information and perceive our experiences in different ways…Some of us are visual, others are auditory while others are kinasthethic(to do with feelings). Thus be flexible in your communication and learn to build rapport with your audience and connect. Always remember there are no resistant audiences only inflexible speakers!
I think therefore I am
Before anything that is man-made ever appeared on the surface of the earth, it existed as a thought in someone’s mind. Just like the light bulb in Edison’s imagination or Mona Lisa in Da Vinci’s brain. It is said that everyday 60000 thoughts permeate our thinking systems, that approximates to around 40 a minute. Yet out of the 60000, 90 per cent of the thoughts you had today were the same as yesterday or the day before, leaving little room for new thoughts. So, unless you start to think differently you are going to create the same reality for youself each and every passing day. How many times have you beat yourself down for failure or asking what ifs and occupied youself with negative thoughts? Your thoughts are a powerful source of energy. The future lies in front of you , governed by the thoughts you hold. Only you have the power to control these thoughts. What thoughts then will you choose that will propel you to the future you want? What will happen if you negate your negative thoughts, and start filling your brain with positive thoughts, thoughts about what you are capable of achieving? Think differently, think out of the box because your thoughts hold the key to your future. And you hold the remote control to your thoughts. Yes, it begins with you, you have a choice and Choices have consequences.
The Map is not the Territory
Ever wondered how maps are made? They are made through the compilations of air photographs as unmanned aircrafts fly over the territory. In essence, the details in the map would only be as accurate as what the photographs ascertain, and they will miss out things like hidden knolls and roads, rivers etc. Likewise for us as people. We each have our own map of the world we percieve shaped by our values, beliefs, social environments etc. And each of us has a different map from another. Thus what one believes as positive could be negative for another. From such a stance, we must always undertand that we each have our own map and the map that each of us has does not represent the world, the territory, or an irrefutable fact of the world. We must come from the perspective that each of us views the world in a different way and we should understand each other’s maps before passing any judgement.
“Before criticising, walk a mile in the shoes of the others, but before you can do that you need to take out your own shoes.”
Past not equals Future
Many people believe we are what we are because of our past and that is what will determine our future, that biography is destiny. However, the key here is that decision is the ultimate power, not status quo or social standing. Most people wif a significant impact in society had come from an adversarial background, such as Oprah Winfrey who had a tumultous childhood. We already have all the resources within us to succeed, however resources mean nothing if we do no leverage on the best way to access and maximise them. Hence, resourcefulness is the key. And the driver behind resourcefulness is human emotion. With the right emotion, we will always find a way to succeed. “The future is not written in stone” Claire Bennett (Heroes) and with the decision to take action we can shape our own future, and be the pilot of our own destiny. Concentrate not on what we cant do but on what we can do.
Factors affecting Human Decision
1. Focus
2. What it means to me?
3. What I am going to do ?
A common denominator that transcends this 3 factors is human emotion.
6 Human Needs
1) Certainty
2) Uncertainty
3) Connectivity/Love
4) Significance
5) Growth
6) Contribution
Standing on the shoulders of giants
One can only learn through experience. With experience and practice, success comes through perfection. An experience could be thoroughly learned through doing the act and walking the talk. But with so many experiences to go through in the world, is there enough time? Experience can be discerned not only through doing an act but also by watching others at work and learning from their successes and failures, by reading more books and watching more movies and learning from them. So remember, a dwarf standing on the shoulders of giants can see further than the giant himself.
Flexibility
Your mind works like a parachute. It only functions when it is open. If you are stubborn and hard pressed with a one size fits all perspective, you are never going to survive the world of change. So step into the shoes of others, but before you do that, you need to take out your own shoes first.
The Ultimate Success Formula
Before accomplishing anything in life you must have a GOAL!…As you strive to achieve that goal you must have a plan, a STRATEGY. Once you have strategised, it would mean absolutely nothing if you do not take ACTION. For every action taken towards the realisation of the goal, there must be a result, a SUCCESS or a FAILURE. If you succeed, congratulations and keep on striving. If you fail, remember : There are no failures, only learning experiences. Each failure is only nature’s way of giving you feedback. So change your strategy and take action agai. Keep repeating the steps until you achieve your goal, and that ladies and gentlemen is a success you truly deserve. The USF, one formula to fit all endeavours in life! So keep on conquering and change your strategy, because so many people in life who failed were those who did not realise how close they were to success.
Limiting Beliefs
Avoid using the words, “try”, “dont” and “i dont know”. These are limiting beliefs that influence how your brain thinks. For example, if you use the phrase,” Dont think of a pink elephant,” what is the one image comes into your mind? BINGO! its that pink elephant. Or, in school, how many times have a teacher warned students Dont play chapteh in class and that is the one thing that the student wants to do to rebel against the forceful instruction. As for try, when you try to do something you dont make it a must…so you allow the possibility of failure and a low acceptance level of the outcome. So use MUST langauge, and make any attempt a must to accomplish. Remember how do u spell impossible ? I.M.POSSIBLE! Anything is possible if you put your mind to it, everything else are limiting beliefs.
The Attitude Exercise
Write the word attitude with your master hand. Now write the word attitude with your non-dominant hand. Compare and look at the difference between the two.
Debrief Points: What is your attitude when you are faced with new challenges? When the results do not come out as you wish, would you stop in the face of adversity or would you practice and get the feel of it, change your strategy until you can come out with perfection? In each and every new challenge faced, there is a long way to go but with the right attitude i can go a long way.
When life is shaky, focus on your outcome
Life is going to throw all sorts of dirt upon you. As you walk on the road of life, you realise it is a rocky road full of stones. You can choose to pick up the rocks and turn it into gems, and leave the rocks unturned and they will remain stones. Life is going to throw all sorts of dirt upon you, it will shake you, but always remember when life is shaky, focus on your outcome. Do what it takes, make your goals a must and not a wish, put your goals on the line such that whatever it takes to accomplish it becomes less painful than not accomplishing it at all.
All for one, one for all
Your team is only as strong as your weakest link. Alone you can do so much but together you can do so much more.
“Until all of us have made it, none of us have made it.” Rosemary Brown
Be the change you want to see in others.
Lead by example, and be the change you want to see in others. Walk the talk, fulfill your promise and follow through.
Event + Response = Outcome
Events cant be controlled, but responses can. So take control of your response, and you can affect the outcome. Life is 10 per cent what happens to you and 90 per cent what you do about it.
Persuaded by reason, Moved by emotion
In sharing and influencing others, there are 4 steps:
1) Frame your audience
2) Note their observations
3) Relate their experience
4) Give a piece of yourself to them than no one else could…
Speak from the bottom of your heart, not your head. People are persuaded by reason but moved by emotion.
“Nobody cares what you know until they know how much you care.” John C Maxwell
“The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see, and knows what the mind cannot understand. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, what is necessary is invisible to the eye.” Antoine De Saint-Exupery
Think about your choice of words(8 per cent), your tonality(38 per cent) and your body language(54 per cent).
Master your mind, Design your destiny
What sets you apart from the animal kingdom is the power of choice. You have the freedom to choose your emotions and choose your actions. Whatever you think, you are always right. If you think you can do it, you are right. If you think you cant, you are also right. So whether you fail or succeed is no man’s doing but your own. You are the force and you deserve it. Take responsibility for your actions, stop blaming situations and others and be the pilot of your own destiny.
The 4 Functions of a Leader
1) Get the job done
2) Keep the team together
3) Advance the team’s morale
4) Raise a leader better than you
This is what PAP has done, an excellent model to replicate and take heart from…
The Hamburger Method
The most yummylicious part of the hamburger is the meat patties, not just the bread that sandwiches it. The bread that sandwiches it does the job of complementing it, an affirmation. Likewise when giving feedback, use the analogy of a hamburger. Start of wif affirmation and pointing out positive attributes. Then move on to the feedback and areas of improvement. Note that this must take on the bulk content of the feedback, the area of focus, just like the meat patty is to the hamburger. End off by closing the loop, affirmation and encouragement, just like the job of the bread complements the patty and makes it look good.
